To begin with I would like to welcome you to the forum. However, reading through your essay it has become apparently clear that you haven't really read through the advice I have given previous forum members. Before I mark this essay, I would like you to go through the other essays and then rewrite your essay accordingly. As it stands, your essay is overly formal using set structures that in places make it difficult to understand (you have also used them incorrectly in places, so its obvious that you are using a set phrase). Your use of reasons and examples are to technical. Remember that TOEFL questions have been designed so that you can draw on your own life experiences. As for the header, there is no real need to have one. society. I have also separated your essay into paragraphs and you should really make sure that you do this on the real exam. Before doing so, your essay was a little difficult to understand. Also, in the future, I would like you to include the question in full so that I can give you a more accurate score. I look forward to reading your revised essay.
THE IMPORTANCE OF SPENDING MONEY ON OUR BASIC NEEDS
Meeting people's basic requirements, which have long been tried to be improved for centuries by the governments, plays a significant role in order to create more prosperous and developed society. Although some people are of the opinion that governments had better spend money to outer space activities to reveal the unknown facts about there, from my point of view, they should spend their money so as to meet people's fundamental needs in terms of promoting medicine and improving educational levels of their society.
Firstly, I would say that developments in medicine are of special significance because of the fact that there are still some diseases of which cure has not been found yet. To illustrate, spending money on finding an absolute diagnose for AIDS, being deadliest illness ever, would be more wise rather than spending it on outer activities. What I mean is that there is nothing more important than human's health.
Secondly, it is a well-known fact that, for a well-developed country in which high-quality people live, that money ought to be spent on improving educational level of the society. To cite an example, as long as a society has well-educated members, it will have the opportunity to understand and develop other significant fields which are certainly crucial for human's future.
All in all, as the examples and explanations denote us that, governments should spend their money on meeting the basic requirements of people both to encourage finding new treatments for illness and to raise the educational level of their societies.
Please, before sending an essay into be marked, make sure that you have read through all previous essays and follow the advice given whilst writing your essay. Essays that have not followed the advice given in previous essays will not be marked. Essays will be marked within 7-10 days.