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Essay number: 15
To begin with I would like to welcome you to the forum. However, reading through your essay it has become apparently clear that you haven't really read through the advice I have given previous forum members. Before I mark this essay, I would like you to go through the other essays and then rewrite your essay accordingly. As it stands, your essay is overly formal using set structures that in places make it difficult to understand (you have also used them incorrectly in places, so its obvious that you are using a set phrase). Your use of reasons and examples are to technical. Remember that TOEFL questions have been designed so that you can draw on your own life experiences. As for the header, there is no real need to have one. society. I have also separated your essay into paragraphs and you should really make sure that you do this on the real exam. Before doing so, your essay was a little difficult to understand. Also, in the future, I would like you to include the question in full so that I can give you a more accurate score. I look forward to reading your revised essay.
[b]THE IMPORTANCE OF SPENDING MONEY ON OUR BASIC NEEDS
Meeting people's basic requirements, which have long been tried to be improved for centuries by the governments, plays a significant role in order to create more prosperous and developed society. Although some people are of the opinion that governments had better spend money to outer space activities to reveal the unknown facts about there, from my point of view, they should spend their money so as to meet people's fundamental needs in terms of promoting medicine and improving educational levels of their society.
Firstly, I would say that developments in medicine are of special significance because of the fact that there are still some diseases of which cure has not been found yet. To illustrate, spending money on finding an absolute diagnose for AIDS, being deadliest illness ever, would be more wise rather than spending it on outer activities. What I mean is that there is nothing more important than human's health.
Secondly, it is a well-known fact that, for a well-developed country in which high-quality people live, that money ought to be spent on improving educational level of the society. To cite an example, as long as a society has well-educated members, it will have the opportunity to understand and develop other significant fields which are certainly crucial for human's future.
All in all, as the examples and explanations denote us that, governments should spend their money on meeting the basic requirements of people both to encourage finding new treatments for illness and to raise the educational level of their societies.
Please, before sending an essay into be marked, make sure that you have read through all previous essays and follow the advice given whilst writing your essay. Essays that have not followed the advice given in previous essays will not be marked. Essays will be marked within 7-10 days.
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Essay number: 16
TOPIC:Some people think that it is best for extended families to live together. Other people think that it is best for nuclear family to live away from the extended family. Which type of family living arrangment do you think is the most beneficial? Use specific reasons to support ypur response.
EXTENDED FAMILY
Some people prefer live to a small family but some of them prefer to live extended family. Small family consists of children,mother and father. Extended family consists of children, mother and father and also maybe grandparents. In my opinion live in extended family is prefered. Because lve in extended family has an some advantaguous. These advantagenous is that family members help eachother and the second one is family traditions carry over the next generations. In my essay I will explain these advantegous deplly.
The first advantage is that family members help one another. For example, I live in an extended family. I live with my grandmother and she helps my mother to with her daily works like as cooking or cleaning. Because my mother works at a job, she cannot cook in weekdays during the week. Unless my grandmother lives with us, my mother can suffer from time manage. This sentence needs rewriting Moreover, ın extended families, family memebers can help one anther to raise a child. For instance my grandmother helps my mother to raise my brother. If she doesn’t live with us, my mother can find a person who we don’t recognize beforehand. And it can be very diffucult for us. This is a strong enough argument to justify a second supporting paragraph
The second advantages is that in the extended families, family tranditions can continue generation to generation. Because mostly grandparents conditional upon their traditions and they always illumunate and apply this. Because of this reason children can learn their tradionation unconsciously. For this way family traditions can pass next generious which is teached by garndparents. It is clearly obvious that live in extended family is important for us to maintance the family traditions next generations. For example in my family, we visit our small village everyfeast and we always prepare a traditonal dessert. I learned this my grandparents and I am going to learn it my children.
In conclusion, living in extended family some advantageos. Family members help one another to do daily works,raise children. And It is important for family tranditions. Thanks to elders of families, children can learn their traditions and they can teach this their children. Actually I prefered to live extended family because of this reasons.
Overall due the number of basic mistakes that you have made throughout your essay (examples of which can be found in your first supporting paragraph), I am afraid that this essay is worth no more than 3 points.
This essay was marked courtesy of Just English Language School
Please, before sending an essay into be marked, make sure that you have read through all previous essays and follow the advice given whilst writing your essay. Essays that have not followed the advice given in previous essays will not be marked. Essays will be marked within 7-10 days.
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Essay number:17
Topic: why do people prefer to go university
As far as I remember this doesn't appear to be an original topic from ETS. When choosing your Topics please refer to the sample question list on the official ETS web site. And a quick pointer; the vast majority of questions to date have been in the "Do you agree or disagree format"; so when practicing try to choose questions which use this format.
We are familiar with the sight of people who go to a university. The number of people who choose to attend a university has been increasing significantly in recent years. University plays an important role in individuals' lives. There are many reasons why people go to a university such as meeting new people, increasing knowledge and finding a good job.
One of the reasons why people go to a university is to meet new people. In At university, there are a lots of people who come from diffrenr places. Therefore, individuals can make new friends at university. They can also learn different cultures and lifestyles from foreign students which give rise to widen their vision and broaden their mind.
Another reason why people go to a university is to increase knowledge. High schools provide fundamental knowledge for students. However, people can focus on their interested majors in universities. Therefore, they can get more information about subjects which they like. Moreover, people, who attend a university, may meet people with different backgrounds. As a result, they can broaden knowledge of their majors. Knowledge accumulation is inevitable during university period. This should be part of your first supporting paragraph, as it reflects the same idea
Another reason is to find a good job. Universities make it possible for students to have a diploma. The diploma plays a pivotal role in finding a good job. Most of the employers want to recruit people who have a university diploma. Therefore, people who went to a university are more likely to have a better career.
In conclusion, it is obvious that meeting new friends, knowledge accumulation and find a good job are essential reasons for going a university. Not only making new friends but also increasing knowledge play an important role in broaden people's vision. Going to a university can also give rise to having a good career. Briefly, going to an university should be an indispensable part of individuals' lives.
FEEDBACK As with other previous essays that students have written, your essay is lacking any kind of example in any shape or form. And again, as I have stated before in previous feedback, examples are an important part of any TOEFL question. Because the question you chose does not appear to be an original topic it is very difficult for me to give it an accurate score. However, in terms of grammar use and organization, I would say it is worth at least 3-4 points. The fact that you did not exemplify your ideas would actually bring your score down. I would also recommend that you use more consistent transitional phrase to introduce each supporting paragraph as the ones that you have chosen over simplify the point that you are trying to make
Please, before sending an essay into be marked, make sure that you have read through all previous essays and follow the advice given whilst writing your essay. Essays that have not followed the advice given in previous essays will not be marked. Essays will be marked within 7-10 days.
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Essay number: 18
topic:Some people believe that mother should not work. Others argue against this. Consider the problems that a working mother faces. Do you believe mothers should work?
Although we have always wanted to be taken care of by our mothers, rapidly changing financal conditions forces today's woman to get their place at work place.However,as well as there are being several problems with it this, it also has various benefits which has convinced me that mothers should work.We can divide this these benefits into three different reasons. Which are, having economic freedom, being able to pay school fees and being a model for her children.
First, having economic freedom is very important in today's world because when both mother and father side earning money , mother don't have ask money from his husband and this makes her more powerful in view of her children.For example, according to my own life, thanks to my mother, I don't have to ask for money from my father and be able to give by herself as she gives it to me herself ,I never ask money from our father. By means of this And because of this, I also never ask permission from our father and in my belief opinion this makes my mother more powerful in our family life.
Second,why I chose being able to pay school fees is because when father side lose his job , mother would able to pay school fees and children didn't be aware of father's unemployment This sentence lacks meaning and is too difficult to understand.For example, when the last economic crisis occured, my father nearly become bankrupted. By dint of our mother's facility of paying our school fees This sentence too has a lack of meaning, giving us a pocketmoney and controling income, we didn't hear about it until my father got his problems under the control his problems and if my mother had't worked in at that time, it would have shocked us and affected our school performance.
Third, if the mother can be a model for her children, it means that her children on correct way.For example when we heard all this crisis occurents, our mother became hero for us and we have changed saucy behaviors immediatly.Thus, we have started trying our best in the school. Therefore our success increased suddenly.
Consequently, today's women has a very big role in a family's financal life.There are two different options for them and each women able to choose one of them.In order to make correct decision they have to consider their financal situation but in my belief, whatever they want to choose, mothers should work for their families happiness.
FEEDBACK: The overall organization of this essay is fine and you have used some nice examples to illustrate your points. However, as you can see, your essay is riddled with grammatical mistakes; so much so that in places it was really difficult to understand. It is for this reason your essay is worth 2-3 points at the most. Remember that the last 5 minutes of your writing time should be spent on checking and correcting such mistakes. It really does make a difference!
Please, before sending an essay into be marked, make sure that you have read through all previous essays and follow the advice given whilst writing your essay. Essays that have not followed the advice given in previous essays will not be marked. Essays will be marked within 7-10 days.
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Essay number: 19
Topic: What discovery in the last 100 years has been most beneficial for people in your country? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.
There are been so many discoveries in the last 100 years. Most of them have been really beneficial for people. Personally, If I had to choose one of them, I would say discovering the internet has been the most beneficial for people in my country. In addition to socializing on Facebook or Twitter via internet, people learn what is going on all over the world easily.My arguments for these points are as follows.
The first reason as to why I believe that the internet has been the most beneficial discovery for people in my country is because they can now learn news from all over the world. Therefore, they can compare the news with their thoughts and our news. For example, in the last three months, gasoline prices have changed in many countries, people in my country searched for it on the internet and they understood we have higher gasoline prices. Afterwards, they protested the higher prices.
The second reason as to why I believe that the internet has been the most beneficial discovery for people in my country is because education has became easy with using the internet. Students can search their homework from on the internet and they can achieve knowledge about subjects that they want easily. However, before the internet came people had to search everything from encyclopedias or old books which spent too much time. For instance, when I have school work, I can search it from Wikipedia and I can learn everything that I want in 2 or 3 seconds. But, if I had to search it from encyclopedias, I would spend more time on it.
My And last but not least reason, people can know eachother via internet. After you meet with someone, you can add him or her on facebook then you can learn their hobies, schools and favourite teams.It is a beneficial way for socializing.When I moved from my small town to a big city, I met with a guy in my neighborhood then I added him on Facebook. While I was looking his profile, I learned that we both are same soccer team’s fan. After that, we talked about our team and decided to go to games at the stadium together.
To sum it up, life is easier with the internet. People can achieve a lot of things using it. Furthermore, they can meet with other people and become social because of the reasons above.
FEEDBACK: A very nice well structured essay well done!!:) I only have one slight problem with it though. Is "the internet" really a "discovery" or an "invention". I am not sure as to what the raters would say about this or how it would affect your points (I have known students to get 0 for just the same thing in the past, but I think you pull it off well in your essay). All that being said, I think this is easily worth 4 points. Well done!!
Please, before sending an essay into be marked, make sure that you have read through all previous essays and follow the advice given whilst writing your essay. Essays that have not followed the advice given in previous essays will not be marked. Essays will be marked within 7-10 days.
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Essay number: 20
In some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and offices buildings. Do you think this is a good rule or a bad rule? Use specific reasons and details to explain you answer
Cigarettes has have been used for pleasure since than it tobacco was found discovered in America. At the beginning, it was so popular that no one would mind cared if it was harmful or not. However, even if it was recognized that cigarette is more harmful for nonsmokers than smokers , taken no caution until near pastthis sentence has very little meaning. According to me , prohibiting smoking in public places is the perfect a great rule which should be taken have been introduced many years ago .There are several reasons to support this idea such as personal rights, being able to use public places and breathing clean air.
To start with, it is obvious that public places, public transportation, governmental areas and bus stations are the places which are often used in a typical day for smoking. Wouldn’t you mind if a person next to you started smoking in one of these areas although you don’t smoke. No one has right to take granted other’s health and life quality. It is a fact that smokers can cause serious health problems for nonsmokers by smoking adjacent them. There is no difference between an intentional murder and this situation.
In addition to this, every individual has equal rights to use public places without concern. For instance, when we go outside with our children, we often use public transportation. No one has right to poison our children for their sake of pleasure. Cigarette smoke, as we all know , is very harmful not only for smokers but also nonsmokers. So, government should provide us confidence for use of its transportation facilities healthily and it can only be without cigarette smoke.
All in all, smoking is more injurious for nonsmokers than smokers. Allowing smoking in public places means murdering people who don’t smoke. In order to prevent this unacceptable situation, government must take precautions , in which most important obligation is prohibiting smoking in public places legally.
Unfortunately, due to the number of grammar mistakes present this essay would not get any more than 2-3 in the real exam. The overall organization is good, but we are lacking sufficient examples. Before writing your next essay please go back and check the advice I have given other writers.
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
Please, before sending an essay into be marked, make sure that you have read through all previous essays and follow the advice given whilst writing your essay. Essays that have not followed the advice given in previous essays will not be marked. Essays will be marked within 7-10 days.
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Essay number: 21
After graduating from highschool, it was very important for me to continue my education at Bogazici university, which is the best and most well known university in Turkey. I studied very hard to get acceptanceed from at Bogazici university and finally, i succeded. I have experienced many advantages of attending university . Consequently, i believe it is imperative that a person having gets a university education. Of the numerous significant advantages of that, perhaps the most crucial are getting a highly qualified education , finding a job easily and earning more money.
The first important benefit of attending university, is getting highly qualified education inasmuchas in todays world it is essential that people have a good academic background in order to represent themselves in the best way they can in society. Having a strong academical background increase a person’s self-confidence. Infact, i I read about an artical in Capital, which is one of the most serious business magazines in Turkey, which states that self confidence degree’s of the people (didn't understand what you were trying to say here), who graduated from university, are twice two times higher than those who didn’t attend the university.
Not only is getting high qualifies education ,but also , finding job easily is another crucial advantage due to the fact today a university degree is more than just a need is actually a must. Having university degree is a major issue to find a job easily. For instance , my brother who is studying law at Odtü which is another best university in Turkey, and will graduate at june this year , has already got a few job offer from multinational companies. If you have a strong academic background, you dont need to find a job , actually job finds you.
Finally, attending university is also important for earning more money. Companies want to work with well educated young people who have knowledge and talent, so they are paying more to the university graduated people due to the fact they give them more importantance and more respect. For example lots of companies in Turkey paying extra premium to the employeers who can speak foreign languages or have knowledge about spesific issues. University education offers people a brillant future .
In conclusion , after highlighting the advantages of attending university , including getting high qualified education, finding job easily and earning more money it is obvious that graduation of a university is the best choice. Indeed, provided that people can take full advantage of the benefits of attending university, they can maximise their potential as successful individuals.
FEEDBACK
A well presented and structured essay; well done. The only problem, as you can see, is all the small grammar mistakes (as illustrated in the first supporting paragraph). However, that being said, the mistakes that you have made are minor, in the sense that they do not detract from what you are trying to say. I could see this essay getting at least 4 points in the real exam.
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Essay number: 22
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?students should be required to study arts and music ın secondary school.use specific reasons to support your ıdeas.
People try to improve themselves during their whole life and seek for personal satisfaction. Studying music and art is an are important areas that people need to spend times on in order to be satisfied. In my opinion students should be required to study arts and music in secondary school because of several reasons such as better not being able to study in early ages them at a younger age, better for your future life and better to gather more intellectual social network throughout your life.
The first reason as to why I believe that students should be required to study arts and music in secondary school is that because it is better to study them in early ages some people are unable to study them when they are younger due to financial problems (this fits a little better as it directly answers the question being asked. However, this new sentence makes the following unnecessary). So many students might not be able to get chance to study these kind of activities at early ages before secondary school because of financial requirements. Therefore, at least in secondary school they should have chance for that and it should be mandatory for every students. For example, in my case we had a guitar lessons in secondary school and now I have been playing guitar almost for fifteen years (kind a master in that area).
The second reason as to why I believe students should be required to study art and music is that it is better for their future life. after school-life, in routine of business life everybody needs to do something other than daily jobs. In this point of view, It gets important having interests that feel you better and activities to be relaxed. For instance friend of mine go to the gallery of him everyday after his daily business in order to quit stress and negative feelings.
The third reason as to why I believe that students should be required to study arts and music in secondary school is that social network will be more entellectual during his whole life. after secondary school if students continue to study them, probably they will meet with people whose interests are common. In addition it will be easy for them to be more social with them. Galleries , concerts or other meetings that they are attended provide them that social environment.
Finally it is better for students to study art and music in secondary school in order to learn it in early ages, be better for their future life and provide them more intellecual social environment.
FEEDBACK
A very good first attempt. You had a few problems in your first supporting paragraph with explaining your idea clearly (especially, with the transitionary sentence). However, your other supporting paragraphs were fine with the exception of grammar mistakes. A quick pointer, though; I think you would have a much stronger essay if you had focused on two supporting paragraphs rather than three and focused on improving and exeplifying the examples that you had given. Point: 3+
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Essay number: 23
People born, live and die and during this life period they pass through diverse kind of stages. Every stage of life has unique hapiness however, i am the one that agree with the idea that childhood is the happiest time of a person's life because of several reasons such as during the childhood people feel no responsibility to anythhing, they feel secure and the relations in that time of period are pure.
The first reason as to why i believe that childhood is the happiest time of a person's life is that people feel no responsibility to anything. During our life time, in business life, in family life or when we get old the prevailing factor that affects us negatively is responsibility. However, childhood is the only time of period that we feel otherwise. If we need to give an explanatory example to this point of view, while i am a child, i spent all my day just think about plays and games and nothing more but now it is impossible to live in that way.
The second reason as to why i believe that childhood is the happiest time of a person's life is that during that time of period people feel secure. Family try to think everything for you and yo do not need to care about security of yourself and this feeling that gives you a relief. In this point all you need to do is focusing your extraordinary imaginary world. For instances, i am sure it is a common feeling that you try to do whatever you want while you are a child because you know that if something is getting worse you are sure that your family will save you from that situation.
And the third reason as to why i believe that childhood is a happiest time of a person's life is the ralations that you are involved are absoultly pure. Because of pure feelings that you and people that you meet have, relations are not like the ones in your future. I know a lot of people, and i am the one of them, who still meet with friends from early ages of him or her childhood. For example, my homemate and me have being friends nearly 20 years and i am just at 25.
In a conclusion, think about you and imagine that there is a place that you have no responsibilities, no need to think about security of yourself and everybody including you feels positively and purely; it is your childhood.
FEEDBACK
This is a much better attempt. The grammatical mistakes you have made a fewer than those in your first essay and the overall use of structures and organization is much better. If you write such an essay in the real exam you could expect to get a score of 3.5-4 points. (I would still wourk on extending your examples though)
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
• TOPİC: Many students choose to attend schools or universities outside their home countries. Why do some students study abroad? Use specific reasons and details to explain your answer
• There is no doubt that education is the most important thing in today's world. Some students go abroad to continue their education there. Going abroad has big advantages for students and , in my opinion , it is the best thing to improve education quality , get real life experience and make real friends .
• To start with, although almost all universities have good quality , some of them are better than others. Some undergraduates choose studying abroad because they want to get into universities that are better than their local universities. According to me , I live in Turkey but I want to attend a college in the USA because the best universities are located there. As a result, studying abroad is important for students because there are better schools that they can attend out of their homeland.
• In addition to this, one of the main qualifications that employers want to see in curricular vitaes is life experience. So, in order to get real life experience, students should be far away from their family. Roughly , when I go to the USA , I might have problems that I should cope with by myself ,and the experiences that I gain throughout this overcoming process , will give me a chance to be better than my opponents.
• Moreover, when people have no relatives near them , they tend to confide people at times more than they used to . For instance, if I couldn't find a friend or a person to talk , I would always try to find someone that I can trust and I can confide. Furthermore, studying abroad is very important for undergraduates because they will be alone and this situation leads them to make real friends .
• All in all , students attend schools or universities outside their home countries because they are interested in their education and going abroad is the best way to have unique educational experience
FEEDBACK
I do actually remember marking this essay a couple of Saturdays ago; I can only assume I hadn't saved it or something. Nevertheless, I apologise for any inconvenience. This essay is much better grammatically than your previous essays. I can see that you have taken extra care whilst writing; that along with your good organisation, has led to an essay which is clearer and more precise. On a negative note, though, your supporting paragraphs are still lacking good, strong examples, which as I have said before are a very important part of your essay. A basic rule to remember is: 1 reason = 1 example. Overall a good essay and it is easily worth 3 points+
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
teacher why did not you make comments about my essay:((
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
Not everything that is learned contained in books. Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. Which source is more important ? Why?
When I was studying at Bogazici University , which is a very popular university with its high quality education system and well known professors in Turkey, I had a part time job at a private bank. My strong academic knowledge was of course help me alot in worklife but the knowledge that I gained from my parttime job made more then that. I had experience many advantages of having a part time job. Consequently I believe it is imperative to gain knowledge from experiences. Of the numerous advantages of that perhaps the crucial are learning fast , receiving complete knowledge , having responsibility.
The first advantage of having knowledge through experiences is learning fast inasmuchas people use all of the abilities they have inorder to learn a new thing through experiences. Learn to cook or example, it is a thing that you learn fast when you are really trying to cook something. It seems too difficult when you read a repice in a cook book however it becomes easy when you start to do something by your own. People use their eyes, ears and noise which help to learn fast.
Not only learning fast is a major benefit but also receivi ng complete knowledge is another important point due to in business life managers expect from people not only knowing the necesarry knowledge but also using this knowledge in challenging tasks. Information which learn from books are the small side of true knowledge, people should complete this knowldege it terms of using this in pratically in real tasks. Having a driving license for example, it doesn’t actually show that you can drive a car , it shows only that you have necessary information but is it the same thing with driving a car i don’t think so. You should bring this knowledge in action, which calls experience.
Indeed a recent academic study I have recently read in Capital which is an academic magazine in Turkey, states that people do not lose the knowledge which gain from experience. This idea supports that the people who ride a bike in their childhood, never forget to ride a bike, however a knowledge which gain from a book can easy dissapear in mind.
In addition to learning fast and receiving complete knowledge having reponsibility is another important point or learning things from experience. Most of the bad things seem unreal when you read them from books however when you face the same situation in your real life you should take all the reponsibilities and do your best.
In conclusion ater highligting the advantages of getting knowledge from experiences I think it isobvious that learning by living is very important for people. Actually it is crucial that people utilise these benefits otherwise they may not develop in to successful and well adjusted individuals.
FEEDBACK
It is nice to see you use a structure which is familiar to you Yazgid; however, this essay has a lot more mistakes (when compared to your first one) and that has immediately brought your points down. Some of the mistakes you have made are related to your use of the basic structures that you incorporate into your writing. A good example is at the begining of the second paragraph "Not only learning fast is...", which should actually read " Not only is learning fast..." When you make mistakes with such underlying structures, it becomes obvious that you have tried to memorize long structures and the raters really don't like this. The advantage of using such structures, however, is that they are easier to check for mistakes. You need to ensure that you spend at least 3-5minutes checking for these mistakes. Because of the number of mistakes present in this essay, I don't really think you would get any more than3-3.5points
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
Good teacher give challenging tasks to the students ?
When i was studying at Kabatas High school, which is a well known difficult highschool in İstanbul, i had a excellent math teacher who always gave us challenging tasks. He always tried to improve students knowledge and encourage them for the challenging tasks. I have experienced many benefits of having challenging task as a student. Consequently i think it is obvious that good teachers give challenging tasks to their students. They have the responsibilities of increasing students knowledge , increasing selfconfidence and preparing them for the real life.
A good teacher always wants to increase their students as much as its possible, for example my math teacher has always give us hard projects and challenging questions inasmuchas this tasks help us a lot in and increase our knowledge. We can easly handle with easy question unless we can solve the problems that he give us.
Another mission that a good teacher has is incresing selfconfidence with challenging tasks they try to make their students better than the other students. The students know that they are better than other students inasmuchas they are dealing with challenging tasks inorder to ordinary tasks and and this increase their selfconfidence.
Preparing the students for the real life is another mission of a good teacher and its also connected with the challenging tasks. Istanbul Technical University for example, which is known with its strong engineering department that attracks students allover the country, has highly qualified professors from all over the world and they all have one common point which is giving challenging tasks to the students. With these tasks students are being prepared for the real life tasks as an engineer. They can find easly high paying jobs, inasmuchas companies are also notice that the students who have challenging tasks in school , are easly adapted to the business and can handle all the challenging situations.
In conclusion, after highlighting the advantages of having challenging tasks , including increasing knowledge, increasing self confidence and preparing students for the life it is obvious that good teachers give challenging tasks to the students.
FEEDBACK
Stop right there! It has become apparent that you have left a structure that you are comfortable with for an unknown structure that you are unfamiliar with; really not a good idea just before your exams! You seem to have lost focus slightly and looking at the quality of this essay (even in comparison to your last), You don't seem to be putting in the same effort either. I want to see you return to the previous structure and we will work on improving that. Finally, please do not use "Cambridge based essay questions" I am sure that you did this one on the TOEFL course that you attended, anyway;) average 3 points.
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
Do you agree or disagree with following statement?Smoking should not be permitted in restaurants , and state laws that prohibit it should be upheld. Used specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Tobocco has been being used since it was found out by explorers.At first, it was so enjoyable to smoke that no one paid attention to its harms. However, besides being harmful, it has effects on nonsmokers more adversely than smokers. Personally, I think that it should not be permitted to smoke in public places for several reasons which are no one has rights to poison others, it might annoy some people and it could be bad sample for children.
To start with, as I said before cigarette does not poison those who smoke as much as non-smokers. For example, I have been attending all my father's business meetings for 12 years and under no circumstances would I like to smoke. However, once I went to hospital to have check-up done, my doctor said to me that I had more smoke in my lungs than my father. Aftermath, he started to explain us the reasons of this bothering situation but it is obvious fact that I have already known it that being in meetings which include so many smokers, made it to me.Therefore, no one has rights to poison others
The second reason as to why I believe that smoking might annoy others is because it smells horrible and people know its harms. For instance, I realised that my friends started being more annoyed after they had heard my doctor experience. The times I met up with them, it was so easy to notice that they treat aggressively to people those who smoke since they already knew that smoking would poison them.
Moreover, children represent people's behaviors eagerly.Nonetheless, under no circumstances are today's families want to see their children while they are poisoning themselves. For instance, my brother is kind of individual who likes showing off and acting like adults. Hanging out places where smoking is allowed , he started to smoke. As a result, my parents realised the situation and forbade him to go these places again.
Consequently, the examples which I gave above are progressing in public places and there is no doubt that restaurants are the most running places today. Therefore, in order to avoid this kind of occurents government should ban smoking in restaurants.
FEEDBACK
Again, you need to be very careful of the mistakes that you are making as there are too many present to actually bring you up to 4 points at the moment. In terms of organization, however, this is a much stronger essay than the ones you have written before. Keep up the hard work and be careful of your grammar and you should be hitting those 4's in no time:) This essay as it stands is 3 points.
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
Thanks all for establishing such a great website and the support you provide. I feel ashamed because Turkey is the one of the most unsuccesful countries in the TOEFL exams, but, in time, with such great people like yourselves, we will probably change this. One little question from me is;
What about the essay format? Ok, most of us know to leave a space after a point or a comma, but, what about the other format rules that affect our points in TOEFL writing exams? I personally think these rules have a good importance in the scoring, but, I am not able to find any of them on the web.
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
İngiliz İngilizcesi gibi yazdım herhalde Türk olup olmadığımı bile anlayamadınız :)
Alıntı:
ertugrulevliyaoglu Nickli Üyeden Alıntı
Sen Turkmusun ?
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
yok ondan degil burdaki cogu kimse zaten toefl a calısyor aynen bu senın yazdıgnı yazarlar ondan suphen olmasın ne soru soracaksan TURKCE sor .
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
yukarda türkçe sorup sonra ingilizce sormuşlar o yüzden ingilizce yazdım.
toefl writing formatı hakkında hiçbir bilgi bulamıyorum, örneğin paragraflar arası boşluk olacak mı, her paragraf en az kaç cümle olmalı, bu cümleler neleri belirtmeli, bir main idea savunurken negatif görüşler ve savunduğumuz fikrin zayıflıkları da belirtilebilir mi vs vs
wriing puanı format yüzünden çok etkileniyor mu
Alıntı:
ertugrulevliyaoglu Nickli Üyeden Alıntı
yok ondan degil burdaki cogu kimse zaten toefl a calısyor aynen bu senın yazdıgnı yazarlar ondan suphen olmasın ne soru soracaksan TURKCE sor .
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
Resmi bir yazı yazar gibi yazmamız gerektiğini biliyorum. Örneğin virgülden ve noktadan sonra boşluk kullanılması gibi şeylere dikkat edilmesi gerekiyor.
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
Films can tell us a lot about the country in which they were made. What have you learned about a country from watching its movies? Use specific examples and details to support your response.
In my opinion movies can tell us a lot about the country which they made. I think this way because you can see a lot of cultural features in a movie about the country which they shoot the movie.
For example in french movies, you can easily see Eiffel tower view on the backround of a lot of scenes. Its a unique building from france and you can always understand that they are in paris when you see the scene without any further knowlege. Another thing that you can see in a movie which were made at france is; they use romance in such a different way then any other country. One more unique thing about france is the french cuisine and you can always see few features from it too.
And if you watch a movie which were made in India, you’ll always see all the actors dancing together at the and of the movie. This activity is also unique and you can’t find it on any movie else. Another thing about the Indian movies, you’ll see most of the people dressed as an Indian which is also unique. Also you can never see someone eating a beef or steak in an Indian movie because cows are sacred in their religion.
Due to these reasons i think you can learn a lot of things from a movie about the country which they were made. Maybe you’ll not understand how much you learn from a movie about the country right away but i’m sure that if you saw a lot of movies from the same country; you’ll see that you are already familiar with a lot of things before you go there. And i think this fact supports my decision in many ways.
Please Read the advice I have given in my previous essays before writing an essay yourself. I will not mark essays that do not follow the structures I have given, sorry.
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
Alıntı:
aslanerh Nickli Üyeden Alıntı
yukarda türkçe sorup sonra ingilizce sormuşlar o yüzden ingilizce yazdım.
toefl writing formatı hakkında hiçbir bilgi bulamıyorum, örneğin paragraflar arası boşluk olacak mı, her paragraf en az kaç cümle olmalı, bu cümleler neleri belirtmeli, bir main idea savunurken negatif görüşler ve savunduğumuz fikrin zayıflıkları da belirtilebilir mi vs vs
Good questions; however, if you spend some time going through the feedback, you will see that most of them have been answered in terms of format and structure (especially when giving supporting ideas. I am under the opinion that you are approaching the independent writing section in totally the wrong way. You need to remember that TOEFL is NOT an academic exam; it is an English level test set in an academic environment. The aim of the independent writing section is to test your use of ordinary everyday English in terms of both grammar and vocabulary and how you relate all this to a simple question.
wriing puanı format yüzünden çok etkileniyor mu
Alıntı:
ertugrulevliyaoglu Nickli Üyeden Alıntı
yok ondan degil burdaki cogu kimse zaten toefl a calısyor aynen bu senın yazdıgnı yazarlar ondan suphen olmasın ne soru soracaksan TURKCE sor .
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
Some people prefer to spend their free time outdoors.Other people prefer to spend their leisure time indoors.Would you prefer to be outside or would you prefer to be inside for your leisure activities?Use specific reasons and examples to explain your choice.
People have different likes.Because all of people are different.And they have different character.Some people friendly some people strict or unsocial anyway.Therefore some people like go out to spend their free time and some people prefer to spend their time in their house.I personally choose first choice.I like go out with my friends also not oly with my friends i enjoy myself too.
I think both of alternatives have different specialty.If you go out you have a lot of choice.For instance you can go cinema go to seaside and walk around also you can do shopping and you can do a lot of different activity.Maybe drive a car “bile” activity too.People are social living being.We need to talk with others.We need to have friends.You can go to cafe or restaurant with your friends or on a wonderful Sunday you besides go street to play basketball or football.For instance some people like to watch football match in their house some people like in stadium the whole issue is it.
Therefore you can call your friends and invite them to your house and you can do activities in your house.Your house is clean not crowded not cold or hot not noisy.If you want to listen yourself you have to do it in your house.In big cities there are not places like it.Besides maybe you want to stand alone with your girlfriend you have to stand on your house.
Consequently i dont distinguish where i am.For me it is important that what i want to do and with who.The both alternatives have specialities.For instance you can not play chess in outside or you can not play basketball in your house.
Before I mark this essay I want you to go back and read all the advice I have given others and rewrite your essay. Think of this forum as a classroom and all the essays above as lessons to improve your own essay writing. As it stands this essay is worth 2 points
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
COULD YOU PLEASE SCORE MY WRITING AND SAY THE MISTAKES
Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The majority of people believe that, the improvements and investigations that are done by humans , make the Earth a better place to live.In deciding, as to wheather or not, Earth is being harmed by human activities,there do exist variant perspectives,some of which,I agree with.This situation based on some notions, such as, people make enviroment dirty and they finish the natural resources.
To begin with, people make the enviroment dirty increadebly. To highlight this point, lets say, lots of factories were constructed,as a result of this, there are a great deal of garbage of these factories. The owner of the factories should provide solution about these garbages but they generally choose the easy way and drop all the garbage to the sea so plenty of sea spicies might die. Also goverments should avoid this situation but most of them deal with only taxes. Especially in winters, people need to warm up and to overcome warming they cut trees. Moreover, people cause air pollution by fires.
In addition to previous point, nowadays the population of the Earth increased rapidly besides they do not care about the natural balance of the Earth. As a result of this, they need more sources and they damage more the natural life. As an illustrution, according to evidence the amount of the drink water in the World may finish in a few centuries. People should not waste water. In addition, people start to hunt more wild animals and this may cause extinction of some spicies.
In conclusion, the arguments proved that, people make Earth dirtier and waste the resources so the Earth is being harmed by human activities. From my perspective people should be careful about the Earth, due to the fact that, their children will may live in a dirty and unsatisfied place.
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
MY ANOTHER WRITING
It has recently been announced that a new movie theater may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
Movies take a significant place in intelligent being’s lives,due to the fact that,people have a good time while they are watching movie.If the place you are living has a movie theater , ofcourse it would be fine for the neighbors.In deciding,as to whether or not,building a new movie theater in my neighbourhood is well,there do exist variant perspectives,some of which,I agree with. From my perspective, the movie theater helps habitants to be social , increases the value of the region and improves the region’s economy.
To begin with,I opine that, going to a movie theater is a beneficial social activity .It is a well-known fact that, if you have a movie theater in your neighbourhood,you tend to go movie theater frequently.To highlight this point,lets say,when I was in university,my dormitory was out of the city and there were no transportation to center of the city at nights hence, we could not go anywhere at nights.After a while,a new movie theater was built near my neighbourhood,as a result of this,we were very glad because we could go to cinema together whenever we were bored.This cinema helped us to be more social instead of staying in dormitory at nights.
In addition to previous point,when a movie theater built,the region should be more valuable mainly because, scores of people want to go cinema and also tend to buy some other things such as food therefore it helps to improve the economy of the environment.
As an illustration,the newly constructed movie theater near my dormitory triggered the plenty of new shops to build so the value and the economy of the region improved immidiately.
In conclusion,the arguments shows that,a new constructed movie theater lead habitants to be social and also improves the value and economy of the enviroment. As a result of these facts,I strongly support to build new movie theater in my neighbourhood.
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
Arkadaşlar,
Essay imi değerlendirebilir misiniz ? özellikle essay organizasyonumu değerlendirmenizi ve tavsiyelerinizi merakla bekliyorum
Teşekkürler.
Subject :Attending a live performance(for example, a play, a concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on TV. Do you agree or disagree with the statment? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Feeling the time is better than watching! This was the motto of a sports company to make their products sold more. This may be the choice of lots of people to enjoy from an activity. However, to make a comparison amongst watching and attending, it is much reasonable to watch an organization to attending in today’s world in terms of adjusting atmosphere according to yourself, spending less time and less money.
Firstly, spending valuable time is more important than having fun for a short time in modern people life. You may fix atmosphere as you wish while watching an organization on TV. For example, for a concert, you may call your friends and order a pizza while watching on TV. In an outside activity, unexpected situations may steal your time. Nevertheless, joining a program will be affected by the strangers being there who has not got the same purpose with you. To avoid disturbance and behaving as you want watching on TV will be better choice.
Secondly, watching an organization makes you save time in your daily program. In modern world, time has more meaning in people’s life. By watching, you spend your time just for organization planned in your mind. You will not spend your time for extra effort like buying ticket, parking and trying to find your seat. Also, you will have a chance to do your hoseworks until the program starts on TV. Moreover, you will make energy save by watching the organization on TV. Because, no doubt that, much time means much energy. So, you will have energy kept for the next day.
Thirdly, another fact is that by watching you will not spend extra money for the things that you did. Thus, you may use your own fridge to drink and eat. You will not have any parking fare. For limited wages invisible expenses has become more crucial in daily life.
Consequently, watching an activity is much reasonable in our modern life. In today’s world people do not want to spend their time outside in vain, to save money and do activities to strengthen their relations.
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
Hi
I am a student from Çukurova University and I have an exam on wednesday 8th september. I have to prepare for it, so I decided to share my essays in this forum
If you read it and give feedback I appretiate it
thanks in advance
Topic:Do you believe that mothers should work?
Over the last 50 years or so, women are forced to work because of the financial problems their families faced. Most of the people support that women should work because of that problem.
And they also think that women should work because they should not be idle. Working is inevitable in today's world, but when it comes to women I definetely debate the idea that women should
work for several reasons.
The first reason as to why women should not work is that of family maters. When a woman works, she cannot spend her time neither for her children nor chores because of her job. For instance,
my friend's mother use to work when my friend was in secondary school. He had problems with his lessons in the school and his mother could not do much thing to chance it, because she has hardly
any time for him.
The second reason as to why women should not work is that of troubles she might encounter while working. Women are so delicate that, long work hours make them tired. Also, economic responsibility
is father's duty, not mother's. If a woman want not to be idle, instead of working, they can spend their time for various activities like sports, hobbies and arts maybe.
The last reason as to why women should not work is that of her role in the family. A woman is given a sacred duty "motherhood", and being a mother is not that easy. I believe that every man's dream
is to see a big smile from his lovely wife when he come home from a stressful work.
woman is given a sacred duty "motherhood", and being a mother is not that easy. I believe that every man's dream
is to see a big smile from his lovely wife when he come home from a stressful work.
(this essay is written in 30minutes.I didn't wrote conclusion part because it is not important in my exam)
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
I will feel grateful if you check my essay too , thanks
do you agree or disagree with following idea;
teachers should give challenging tasks to students.
explain why or why not you hold that opinion with details and explanations.
Some might argue that we should not be hard on students which might scare them away from the schools, but I disagree with this idea. I believe we should assign difficult tasks for children at school for three reasons. First, in this way, they can learn hardship of life awaiting them after school. Second, it would be easy for them to deal with less difficult problems thanks to hard tasks and third, they can not have many adaptation problems in upper classes.
Firstly, they can learn the difficulty of life in early age. For example, our modern world is more competitive than ever before. To survive in this jungle, every student should be equipped with best possible weapons. They should study hard to get ready for the challenges awaiting them. There is a saying like "no pain, no gain". I guess it is very true especially for our world. Such as, a child should have a complete grasp of math to be successful in the business world. Giving simple math problems to his child at school won't help this child to develop the skills she needs to be successful in her life. On contrary, giving harsh tasks will help prepare them for real world.
Secondly, Simpler or more moderate problems look easier after hard tasks. For example, If students get used to have very hard assignments, she or he have more confidence to solve an assignment with normal difficulty. This helps this student to handle simple problems faster. For example, if this person has to do a calculation during her shopping to figure out how much money she has left after shopping. She can do this faster and easily thanks to her high math skills. In sum, she can use her knowledge more easily after becoming master in that particular subject.
Third, Students can be fully set for upper class lessons. For example, after this person passes to upper class, she or he won't have any problem with math or science because this student already knows quite well that particular subject from his previous classes. Because of the hard assignment, she can easily adapt to difficult curriculum of higher level class.
After all is said and done, I guess having hard tasks helps students in many ways. including learning the hardship of life, having high skills to deal with simple problems and being ready for upper class. That is why, I guess we should all be favor of these challenging tasks in their education. After all, they will get much out of them and they will not have much problems when they start their career.
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
Hi again, its my second essay, can you pls feedback
topic:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Face-to-face communication is better than other types of communication, such as letters, email, or telephone calls.
People found different ways to communicate each other throughout history, by smoke, by pigeon, by letter, by telegraph, by telephone.Now they have more technology such
as internet, and thus they get the chance to communicate their all relatives and friends living far from them.People may think that they have a lot of inventions and should feel
lucky but people lost and important thing "face-to-face communication"
Face-to-face communication is better because other types of communications are not reliable.With the ways other than face-to-face communication, you cannot see with
whom you are talking, and you cannot be sure he/she is the person you think.For example, a friend of mine met a girl from a website on the Internet.They have talked with each
other for 3 months.Due to the fact that he trusted her, he told his secrets to her even the dirtiest ones.After 3 months it was revealed that she was not a girl but a boy from my
friend's class in school.
Face-to-face communication is better because other types of communications like the Internet, do not offer a real communication.When you talk someone face-to-face, you
enjoy the conversation.Because you can see him/her, you can use gestures and face expressions, you can use your tone of voice etc.But if you choose other ways, you cannot
even feel him/her.Even when you want to smile, you are confined to only ":)"
All in all due to the telephone, the Internet etc. people do not need to visit their relatives and friends.The communication devices are supposed to connect people, but in fact
they cut the connection between them.
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
Merhabalar benim toefl ibtden en az 74 almam lazım ıkı kere giridim sınava en iyi bölümüm speakingdir. writingde sonra gelir ve tam 9 gun sonra sınavım var . öncelikle benim püf noktaları yakalamam lazım buraya essay lerimizi gönderebiliyormuşuz peki direk yorum yapar gibi mi yollamamız lazım acaba ?
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
Bu da benim ilk essayim boyle yazıp yolladım ama umarım hata etmemişimdir sormuştum ama cevap veren olmamıştı.
kontrol edilirse benim için iyi olur
106. Students at universities often have a choice of places to live. They may choose to live
in university dormitories, or they may choose to live in apartments in the community.
Compare the advantages of living in university housing with the advantages of living in an
apartment in the community. Where would you prefer to live? Give reasons for your
preference.
Students can choose their place which is students live all the university life. Some people prefer dormitory , some of them choose apartment . All of these choices have advantages and disadvantages . However , I prefer dormitory of the my university for three reasons . First reason is position ,second is cheap and third is that dormitories have placeses to study.
First reason why ı prefer the dormitory is about position . İf I prefer an aparment , I may late for my lessons. For example , I live in an aparment and my aparment is in the Newyork Center but my university is in the New Paltz . To arrive my lessons , I must wake up two hours early . So I cannot sleep very well and I cannot succes on my lessons . However , I prefer the dormitory which is in the my campus. I have not problem like this. I can sleep very well ,because I should not wake up early . For this reason I prefer the dormitory.
Second reason why I prefer the dormitory is about cheap living. İf I prefer an aparment , I must pay a lot of money . For instance , one aparment’s rent is about 1500 $ in today and ı must pay the aparment’s electiricitys , water , internet and maybe parking system. İn totaly I must pay 2000 $ per mounts. And I must pay for the aparment’s shopping. However, dormitory’s cost is 1000 $ per mounts and ı have an internet , hot water , room which is only belong me. So as you see , living in dormitory is cheaper than an aparment. For this reason ı prefer the dormitory.
Last but not least advantage of the living in dormitory is that dormitories have placeses to study. İf I live in an aparment ı cannot study on my lessons very well because some days my friends come to my house and we hangout together. Or some days my girl friend come to my house and we watch some films. İf I lucy may ı study on my lessons one day per weeks. İt is not enough . However , the dormitories have placeses to study , I can use these palace for studing. Or dormitories have a library , I can go to library and ı can study on my lessons for hours. For his reason I prefer the dormitory.
To sum up , living in an aparment and dormitory have a lot of advantages and disadvantages. However , I think dormitories have more advantages than aparments. Dormitories good located , cheaper and have placeses to study or library. For all this reasons I prefer the dormitory.
Şimdiden teşekkür ederim.
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Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
Kasım ayında bende Toef sınavına girmeyi planlıyorum ama çokda bir umudum yok doğrusu. Her ne ise bende bir iki writing denemesi yapmak istiyorum. Üstteki arkaşın konusundan devam edeyim. Okuyup yorum yaparsanız sevinirim.
Many students go to different states and countries to continue their education as a university student. Finding a new place to stay is a mandatory. Apartments and dormitories are mojor choices to live and both of them have different advantages and disadvanteges. I experienced both of the these places and I think staying in an apartment is far better than staying in a dormitory so I prefer an apartment if I have to choise one of them.
Dormitory might be a great place to live if you're a freshman and new in the city. Sharing a room with strangers is an important experience in human life and It teaches understanding to other people and respect them. Living in a campus can give important opportunities to become social and education manner. For instance, you can join in lots of activities and getting more friends. Campus also can serve many services to you like sport saloons, swimming pools, libraies, free internet etc.
But in the other side, dormitories has many disadvantages too. Staying in a private room is usually more expensive than sharing apartment rents. Crowded rooms doesn't allow to privacy. Clearance, noise and irresponsible room mates may convert your life to hell. You cannot invite your friends or you cannot slept with your girlfriend. Getting alcohol and giving parties is forbidden. You have to turn the lights off when a room mate decides to sleep.
Staying in an apartment is another choice. Rentals maybe seem expensive and extra fees might be scare you but It's possible to share all these costs with a room mate and still you can have your own private room. It's not to possible compare apartments and dormitories in freedom window. You can cook your meal, invite your friends or slept with your girlfriend. Getting alcohol and giving parties are not problems if your room mate doesn't mind. Transportitation to campus might be the biggest problem but you can solve that with an apartment near the campus or bus station. Buying a car also might be great deal if you can afford it.
In a conclusion, I think benefits of an apartment is more attractive than dormitory. Free services might be good but It's negligible when having own room. So I prefer apartment living.
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Alıntı:
apolloturk Nickli Üyeden Alıntı
Kasım ayında bende Toef sınavına girmeyi planlıyorum ama çokda bir umudum yok doğrusu. Her ne ise bende bir iki writing denemesi yapmak istiyorum. Üstteki arkaşın konusundan devam edeyim. Okuyup yorum yaparsanız sevinirim.
Many students go to different states and countries to continue their education as a university student. Finding a new place to stay is a mandatory. Apartments and dormitories are mojor choices to live and both of them have different advantages and disadvanteges. I experienced both of the these places and I think staying in an apartment is far better than staying in a dormitory so I prefer an apartment if I have to choise one of them.
Dormitory might be a great place to live if you're a freshman and new in the city. Sharing a room with strangers is an important experience in human life and It teaches understanding to other people and respect them. Living in a campus can give important opportunities to become social and education manner. For instance, you can join in lots of activities and getting more friends. Campus also can serve many services to you like sport saloons, swimming pools, libraies, free internet etc.
But in the other side, dormitories has many disadvantages too. Staying in a private room is usually more expensive than sharing apartment rents. Crowded rooms doesn't allow to privacy. Clearance, noise and irresponsible room mates may convert your life to hell. You cannot invite your friends or you cannot slept with your girlfriend. Getting alcohol and giving parties is forbidden. You have to turn the lights off when a room mate decides to sleep.
Staying in an apartment is another choice. Rentals maybe seem expensive and extra fees might be scare you but It's possible to share all these costs with a room mate and still you can have your own private room. It's not to possible compare apartments and dormitories in freedom window. You can cook your meal, invite your friends or slept with your girlfriend. Getting alcohol and giving parties are not problems if your room mate doesn't mind. Transportitation to campus might be the biggest problem but you can solve that with an apartment near the campus or bus station. Buying a car also might be great deal if you can afford it.
In a conclusion, I think benefits of an apartment is more attractive than dormitory. Free services might be good but It's negligible when having own room. So I prefer apartment living.
Merhaba, ben sadece toefl ve ielts dersleri veren bir ingilizce ogretmeniyim. tum referanslarima ve hakkimdaki bilgilere Cenk Tuncay zel ngilizce Dersleri dan ulasabilirsiniz. Essay ini degerlendirecek olursak; bir kere bu essay senden compare and contrast tarzinda bir organizasyon bekliyor. ilk paragrafinda tercihini belirtmen guzel ancak sonraki paragraflarda yeterli transition lari kullanmamissin. ayrica sonuc paragrafin cok kisa olmus. yinede 17-18 puan alabilir. toefl writing de puan kazandiran temeller soyle:
1. organizasyon (5 tip essay dan dogru olan tarzda yazma isi)
2. grammar variety yani farkli yapilari kusursuz kullanabilmek
3. transitions, conjuctions kullanimi
4. vocab variety
5. imla kurallari
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merhaba yeni üye oldum foruma. Böyle bir writing ile yaklaşık kaç puan alabilirim :( ?
The Effects of Deforestation
Deforstation is a situation that results in devastating effects.Not only the ecosystem and nature are being affected
but also people. Some of these effects range from starvation to global warming. Our world prones to these bad effects
in recent years.
One of the dangerous effects of deforestation is starvation. Many of our forests which are the main sources of oxygen have
been destroying for such reasons like building a construction and cultivation. If the forests destroy in a mindles way,animals
living in the forest can became extinct in several decades. Therefore, the ecosystem will bw disturbed and starvation will be
an inevitable result in this way. For instance, if an animal which is a food supply for people extincts, people are more likely to
seek for another animals. However, if the other animals extinct,people have to seek for one another. This circle will certainly
be deadlocked one day. Consequently,people may more likely to suffer from starvation and also animals will, too.
Another effect of deforestation is global warming that is known as climate change. As we know the limit temperature of the
world has been increasing to a high level year by year. Huge glaciers are melting in the North Pole and in The Antarctic.
Therefore , sea level has been raising approximately 0,1 mm in a year. We can learn more about this increaisng from scientific
studies about global warming. Because of the increase in sea levels, coasts of countries are morelikely to be under water.
To sum up, climate change has dangerous effects on the world and on people. It should be regarded as the main environmental
problem. We should take some measures like not to use sprays that reveal harmful gases to the atmosphere. For a good living ,
we must be aware of these hazardous results.
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Alıntı:
nslhn Nickli Üyeden Alıntı
merhaba yeni üye oldum foruma. Böyle bir writing ile yaklaşık kaç puan alabilirim :( ?
The Effects of Deforestation
Deforstation is a situation that results in devastating effects.Not only the ecosystem and nature are being affected
but also people. Some of these effects range from starvation to global warming. Our world prones to these bad effects
in recent years.
One of the dangerous effects of deforestation is starvation. Many of our forests which are the main sources of oxygen have
been destroying for such reasons like building a construction and cultivation. If the forests destroy in a mindles way,animals
living in the forest can became extinct in several decades. Therefore, the ecosystem will bw disturbed and starvation will be
an inevitable result in this way. For instance, if an animal which is a food supply for people extincts, people are more likely to
seek for another animals. However, if the other animals extinct,people have to seek for one another. This circle will certainly
be deadlocked one day. Consequently,people may more likely to suffer from starvation and also animals will, too.
Another effect of deforestation is global warming that is known as climate change. As we know the limit temperature of the
world has been increasing to a high level year by year. Huge glaciers are melting in the North Pole and in The Antarctic.
Therefore , sea level has been raising approximately 0,1 mm in a year. We can learn more about this increaisng from scientific
studies about global warming. Because of the increase in sea levels, coasts of countries are morelikely to be under water.
To sum up, climate change has dangerous effects on the world and on people. It should be regarded as the main environmental
problem. We should take some measures like not to use sprays that reveal harmful gases to the atmosphere. For a good living ,
we must be aware of these hazardous results.
bazı yazım hataları yapmışım . düzeltilmişi;
merhaba yeni üye oldum foruma. Böyle bir writing ile yaklaşık kaç puan alabilirim :( ?
The Effects of Deforestation
Deforstation is a situation that results in devastating effects.Not only the ecosystem and nature are being affected
but also people. Some of these effects range from starvation to global warming. Our world prones to these bad effects
in recent years.
One of the dangerous effects of deforestation is starvation. Many of our forests which are the main sources of oxygen have
been destroying for such reasons like building a construction and cultivation. If the forests destroy in a mindless way,animals
living in the forest can become extinct in several decades. Therefore, the ecosystem will be disturbed and starvation will be
an inevitable result in this way. For instance, if an animal which is a food supply for people extincts, people are more likely to
seek for another animals. However, if the other animals extinct,people have to seek for one another. This circle will certainly
be deadlocked one day. Consequently,people may more likely to suffer from starvation and also animals will, too.
Another effect of deforestation is global warming that is known as climate change. As we know the limit temperature of the
world has been increasing to a high level year by year. Huge glaciers are melting in the North Pole and in The Antarctic.
Therefore , sea level has been raising approximately 0,1 mm in a year. We can learn more about this increaisng from scientific
studies about global warming. Because of the increase in sea levels, coasts of countries are morelikely to be under water.
To sum up, climate change has dangerous effects on the world and on people. It should be regarded as the main environmental
problem. We should take some measures like not to use sprays that reveal harmful gases to the atmosphere. For a good living ,
we must be aware of these hazardous results.
-
değerlendirirseniz çok memnun olurum :)
092: Some people prefer to live in places that have the same weather or climate all year long. Others like to live in areas where the weather changes several times a year. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.
Although many people prefer to live in places where weather conditions are same all the year, I personally agree with the idea that living in a places that the weather or climate changes several times in a year. It is a fact that climate effects people some ways. My reasoning behind my answer stems from three main ideas. Firstly, changeable weather provides us so much types of food resources. Secondly, it really effects our mood and finally, it supports us to different kinds of sports.
To begin with, weather changes provides long range of fruits, vegetables and so forth. Due to the weather changes, food crops have a big diversity. Thus, unchangeable weather conditions supplies limited fruits and vegetables. On the other hand, if the weather changes several times in a year, of course, fruit, vegetables and other kind of foods have a great abundance and diversity.
Secondly, it affects our mood too much. Recent researchs show that people who lives in stable weather conditions may have some mental illnesses. For example, if you live in an all the time cold, snowy places, you probably get in depression mode. Furthermore, even if you live in a touristic places that all the people want to live, you will need to go cold places after a small amount of time.
Finally, changeable weathers support different kinds of sports like skiing on winter and surfing on summer. However, you are not able to do these sports when you live in places that have same climate. For instance, I both like summer and winter sports. Consequently, I do not want to travel different countries in a same year period to do sports.
For all the reasons that I have stated above, I strongly prefer to live in a place that has changeable weather conditions.
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daha iyi yazmak istiyorsanız, daha çok okumalısınız.Daha fazla yazı örnekleri burada bulabilirsiniz:
TOEFL Writing Topics - TOEFL Test
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Merhaba, foruma internette toefl ile ilgili arastirma yaparken denk geldim ve cok hosuma gitti. daha once toefl a girmedigim icin bu ilk deneyimim olacak ancak sinavdan sonra elimden geldigince tecrubelerimi paylasicam. sinava 21 ocakta istanbul ticaret universitesinde girecegim. http://www.testmagic.com/test/viewtopicsofessays6.asp bu adreste buldugum independent essay konularini hazirlik olsun diye yazmaya calisacagim. az once bir tanesini yazdim eger degerlendirebilirseniz cok memnun olurum degerli hocalarim.
Essayin konusu : " Do you like working with your hands or working with machines ? "
It is hard to deny the importance of working in modern world. On the whole, people don’t live without working because of life expenses. There are two working methods, which are working with hands and working with machines. If you have a chance to choose one of them, which one do you prefer? I prefer to work with machines. In this essay, I am going to talk about why I prefer working with machines by giving you three advantages of working with machines to support my choice.
The first advantage of working with machines is about effort. For example, if you are working in a finance company and they are expecting from you to prepare some financial statements and charts, so you must arrange that reports to survive in this company. Preparing with hands or machines like computer and calculator, which one is the easiest way to make them? It is true without a doubt that machines will help you to make less effort while you arranging your job. To give another example, you can make calculations by only pressing the buttons of calculator; so you are absolutely make less effort than calculating manually.
The next advantage is about speed. While you are writing a letter or a text, you can write faster on a computer than writing with your hand. Also you can carry heavy things to another place faster with a forklift than moving with your own power.
The last but not least, is about safety. To make an example, bomb squads are using robots to defuse bombs, because using robots is safer than defusing it by themselves.
In conclusion, I can say that working with machines have three advantage like making less effort, making your job speedy and safely. Also I highly recommend you use machines while you are working and only in a responsible way.
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Merhabalar oncelıkle boyle bır ımkan gercekten cok onemlı bızler who are TOEFLer. Ben sunu merak edıyorum ne kadar zaman ıcerısınde feedback yapılıyor.