Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
Please, before sending an essay into be marked, make sure that you have read through all previous essays and follow the advice given whilst writing your essay. Essays that have not followed the advice given in previous essays will not be marked. Essays will be marked within 7-10 days.
Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
• TOPİC: Many students choose to attend schools or universities outside their home countries. Why do some students study abroad? Use specific reasons and details to explain your answer
• There is no doubt that education is the most important thing in today's world. Some students go abroad to continue their education there. Going abroad has big advantages for students and , in my opinion , it is the best thing to improve education quality , get real life experience and make real friends .
• To start with, although almost all universities have good quality , some of them are better than others. Some undergraduates choose studying abroad because they want to get into universities that are better than their local universities. According to me , I live in Turkey but I want to attend a college in the USA because the best universities are located there. As a result, studying abroad is important for students because there are better schools that they can attend out of their homeland.
• In addition to this, one of the main qualifications that employers want to see in curricular vitaes is life experience. So, in order to get real life experience, students should be far away from their family. Roughly , when I go to the USA , I might have problems that I should cope with by myself ,and the experiences that I gain throughout this overcoming process , will give me a chance to be better than my opponents.
• Moreover, when people have no relatives near them , they tend to confide people at times more than they used to . For instance, if I couldn't find a friend or a person to talk , I would always try to find someone that I can trust and I can confide. Furthermore, studying abroad is very important for undergraduates because they will be alone and this situation leads them to make real friends .
• All in all , students attend schools or universities outside their home countries because they are interested in their education and going abroad is the best way to have unique educational experience
FEEDBACK
I do actually remember marking this essay a couple of Saturdays ago; I can only assume I hadn't saved it or something. Nevertheless, I apologise for any inconvenience. This essay is much better grammatically than your previous essays. I can see that you have taken extra care whilst writing; that along with your good organisation, has led to an essay which is clearer and more precise. On a negative note, though, your supporting paragraphs are still lacking good, strong examples, which as I have said before are a very important part of your essay. A basic rule to remember is: 1 reason = 1 example. Overall a good essay and it is easily worth 3 points+
Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
teacher why did not you make comments about my essay:((
Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
Not everything that is learned contained in books. Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. Which source is more important ? Why?
When I was studying at Bogazici University , which is a very popular university with its high quality education system and well known professors in Turkey, I had a part time job at a private bank. My strong academic knowledge was of course help me alot in worklife but the knowledge that I gained from my parttime job made more then that. I had experience many advantages of having a part time job. Consequently I believe it is imperative to gain knowledge from experiences. Of the numerous advantages of that perhaps the crucial are learning fast , receiving complete knowledge , having responsibility.
The first advantage of having knowledge through experiences is learning fast inasmuchas people use all of the abilities they have inorder to learn a new thing through experiences. Learn to cook or example, it is a thing that you learn fast when you are really trying to cook something. It seems too difficult when you read a repice in a cook book however it becomes easy when you start to do something by your own. People use their eyes, ears and noise which help to learn fast.
Not only learning fast is a major benefit but also receivi ng complete knowledge is another important point due to in business life managers expect from people not only knowing the necesarry knowledge but also using this knowledge in challenging tasks. Information which learn from books are the small side of true knowledge, people should complete this knowldege it terms of using this in pratically in real tasks. Having a driving license for example, it doesn’t actually show that you can drive a car , it shows only that you have necessary information but is it the same thing with driving a car i don’t think so. You should bring this knowledge in action, which calls experience.
Indeed a recent academic study I have recently read in Capital which is an academic magazine in Turkey, states that people do not lose the knowledge which gain from experience. This idea supports that the people who ride a bike in their childhood, never forget to ride a bike, however a knowledge which gain from a book can easy dissapear in mind.
In addition to learning fast and receiving complete knowledge having reponsibility is another important point or learning things from experience. Most of the bad things seem unreal when you read them from books however when you face the same situation in your real life you should take all the reponsibilities and do your best.
In conclusion ater highligting the advantages of getting knowledge from experiences I think it isobvious that learning by living is very important for people. Actually it is crucial that people utilise these benefits otherwise they may not develop in to successful and well adjusted individuals.
FEEDBACK
It is nice to see you use a structure which is familiar to you Yazgid; however, this essay has a lot more mistakes (when compared to your first one) and that has immediately brought your points down. Some of the mistakes you have made are related to your use of the basic structures that you incorporate into your writing. A good example is at the begining of the second paragraph "Not only learning fast is...", which should actually read " Not only is learning fast..." When you make mistakes with such underlying structures, it becomes obvious that you have tried to memorize long structures and the raters really don't like this. The advantage of using such structures, however, is that they are easier to check for mistakes. You need to ensure that you spend at least 3-5minutes checking for these mistakes. Because of the number of mistakes present in this essay, I don't really think you would get any more than3-3.5points
Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
Good teacher give challenging tasks to the students ?
When i was studying at Kabatas High school, which is a well known difficult highschool in İstanbul, i had a excellent math teacher who always gave us challenging tasks. He always tried to improve students knowledge and encourage them for the challenging tasks. I have experienced many benefits of having challenging task as a student. Consequently i think it is obvious that good teachers give challenging tasks to their students. They have the responsibilities of increasing students knowledge , increasing selfconfidence and preparing them for the real life.
A good teacher always wants to increase their students as much as its possible, for example my math teacher has always give us hard projects and challenging questions inasmuchas this tasks help us a lot in and increase our knowledge. We can easly handle with easy question unless we can solve the problems that he give us.
Another mission that a good teacher has is incresing selfconfidence with challenging tasks they try to make their students better than the other students. The students know that they are better than other students inasmuchas they are dealing with challenging tasks inorder to ordinary tasks and and this increase their selfconfidence.
Preparing the students for the real life is another mission of a good teacher and its also connected with the challenging tasks. Istanbul Technical University for example, which is known with its strong engineering department that attracks students allover the country, has highly qualified professors from all over the world and they all have one common point which is giving challenging tasks to the students. With these tasks students are being prepared for the real life tasks as an engineer. They can find easly high paying jobs, inasmuchas companies are also notice that the students who have challenging tasks in school , are easly adapted to the business and can handle all the challenging situations.
In conclusion, after highlighting the advantages of having challenging tasks , including increasing knowledge, increasing self confidence and preparing students for the life it is obvious that good teachers give challenging tasks to the students.
FEEDBACK
Stop right there! It has become apparent that you have left a structure that you are comfortable with for an unknown structure that you are unfamiliar with; really not a good idea just before your exams! You seem to have lost focus slightly and looking at the quality of this essay (even in comparison to your last), You don't seem to be putting in the same effort either. I want to see you return to the previous structure and we will work on improving that. Finally, please do not use "Cambridge based essay questions" I am sure that you did this one on the TOEFL course that you attended, anyway;) average 3 points.
Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
Do you agree or disagree with following statement?Smoking should not be permitted in restaurants , and state laws that prohibit it should be upheld. Used specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Tobocco has been being used since it was found out by explorers.At first, it was so enjoyable to smoke that no one paid attention to its harms. However, besides being harmful, it has effects on nonsmokers more adversely than smokers. Personally, I think that it should not be permitted to smoke in public places for several reasons which are no one has rights to poison others, it might annoy some people and it could be bad sample for children.
To start with, as I said before cigarette does not poison those who smoke as much as non-smokers. For example, I have been attending all my father's business meetings for 12 years and under no circumstances would I like to smoke. However, once I went to hospital to have check-up done, my doctor said to me that I had more smoke in my lungs than my father. Aftermath, he started to explain us the reasons of this bothering situation but it is obvious fact that I have already known it that being in meetings which include so many smokers, made it to me.Therefore, no one has rights to poison others
The second reason as to why I believe that smoking might annoy others is because it smells horrible and people know its harms. For instance, I realised that my friends started being more annoyed after they had heard my doctor experience. The times I met up with them, it was so easy to notice that they treat aggressively to people those who smoke since they already knew that smoking would poison them.
Moreover, children represent people's behaviors eagerly.Nonetheless, under no circumstances are today's families want to see their children while they are poisoning themselves. For instance, my brother is kind of individual who likes showing off and acting like adults. Hanging out places where smoking is allowed , he started to smoke. As a result, my parents realised the situation and forbade him to go these places again.
Consequently, the examples which I gave above are progressing in public places and there is no doubt that restaurants are the most running places today. Therefore, in order to avoid this kind of occurents government should ban smoking in restaurants.
FEEDBACK
Again, you need to be very careful of the mistakes that you are making as there are too many present to actually bring you up to 4 points at the moment. In terms of organization, however, this is a much stronger essay than the ones you have written before. Keep up the hard work and be careful of your grammar and you should be hitting those 4's in no time:) This essay as it stands is 3 points.
Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
Thanks all for establishing such a great website and the support you provide. I feel ashamed because Turkey is the one of the most unsuccesful countries in the TOEFL exams, but, in time, with such great people like yourselves, we will probably change this. One little question from me is;
What about the essay format? Ok, most of us know to leave a space after a point or a comma, but, what about the other format rules that affect our points in TOEFL writing exams? I personally think these rules have a good importance in the scoring, but, I am not able to find any of them on the web.
Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
İngiliz İngilizcesi gibi yazdım herhalde Türk olup olmadığımı bile anlayamadınız :)
Alıntı:
ertugrulevliyaoglu Nickli Üyeden Alıntı
Sen Turkmusun ?
Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
yok ondan degil burdaki cogu kimse zaten toefl a calısyor aynen bu senın yazdıgnı yazarlar ondan suphen olmasın ne soru soracaksan TURKCE sor .
Ynt: Toefl Writing lerinizi Değerlendiriyoruz...
yukarda türkçe sorup sonra ingilizce sormuşlar o yüzden ingilizce yazdım.
toefl writing formatı hakkında hiçbir bilgi bulamıyorum, örneğin paragraflar arası boşluk olacak mı, her paragraf en az kaç cümle olmalı, bu cümleler neleri belirtmeli, bir main idea savunurken negatif görüşler ve savunduğumuz fikrin zayıflıkları da belirtilebilir mi vs vs
wriing puanı format yüzünden çok etkileniyor mu
Alıntı:
ertugrulevliyaoglu Nickli Üyeden Alıntı
yok ondan degil burdaki cogu kimse zaten toefl a calısyor aynen bu senın yazdıgnı yazarlar ondan suphen olmasın ne soru soracaksan TURKCE sor .