TOPIC: What is your approach to problem solving, and how does it work for you? Use specific details to support your response.

In today`s world, most of people have a lot of problems about their social life, job, family etc. Actually that is quite normal for a normal person, so there is nothing to concern. But if you don`t have an approach to solve your problems,then you may concern. As a result everybody must have a problem solving method. In my opinion the best way of this can be explained in two part, being claim and asking other people.
O.k to begin with the overall structure of your introduction is fine. However, there are many mistakes in terms of both grammar and vocabulary, immediately giving a bad impression. The most common mistake made by Turkish students concerns the use of adverbs such as "MOST+MANY". If we are talking generally about a subject then there is no need to use the preposition "of"; that's to say that "many people" is the correct form. Another point that you need to be careful of is the use of the abbreviation "etc...", this really has no place in any type of essay. Instead try using expressions such as "and the such" or "and so forth"

First of all, if you have a problem,you have to be claim to think healthly. If you are angry or stressful because of your problems, that can be cause bigger problems instead of solution. Take a deep breath and wait for a moment and do not think about the problem. Think about good things. For instance, thinking happy moments of your life make you claim, and after that think about the best solution.
As I explained to "Senemis" above, you need to really include specific examples. The example that you have given above is too general. You may want to include an experience that you have undergone which reflects this main point such as "last year when I was at university studying for my finals, I found that I was very stressed and under a great deal of pressure. Then I discovered a way to overcome this. I would close my eyes and think about being with my family and having a good time. I found that by doing so, it would calm me down just enough so that I could concentrate on my studies" Examples, in general, should take up the best part of a supporting paragraph. And, what is more, the raters really enjoy a good example.

In addition to this, talking with other people about your problem can help you to find best way. Especially, people who have experiments will help you more than you consider. Perhaps you will not find anybody who had a problem like yours but be sure, there are somebody who had a problem familiar to yours and after several conversation with these people, although they do not tell a certain solution you can find out the best way of the solution with using their ideas.
Again as I said above, the one thing that sticks out with this supporting paragraph is that it is lacking an example. Don't forget that with "some+any" we should use "is/was/verb+s" So your sentence above should read "there is somebody who has had..."

In conclusion, problems are a part of our life and we may not live without these. However we should not allow them to make our life hard and unhappy. We should focus on the solution and in my opinion, the best way of finding the solution is being claim and talking with other people who had problems like ours. Of course everybody can find another method, the main point is having a problem solving approach. It is changable for everybody.
Another common mistake made by students involves the use of the word "another" (you really needed to use the word "other" above. An easy way to distinguish the difference between the two words is to remember what they mean in Turkish. "another" can be translated as "bir daha" as in "Can I have another cup of tea"; and "other", in this sense, can be translated as "başka, diğer, yada öbür" as in "Can you give me the other one" (it is important to remember though that "another" can also mean "başka" when used to talk about time, as in "I will talk to you another time." I hope that this has helped you. Overall I would say that your essay is worth at the very most 3 points, but could actually get a little lower if this were the real exam.

This essay was marked and commented on courtesy of Just English Language Schools