I read last 7 essays and then I rewrite it again.I hope I did a good job (: I am waiting for your mark.Thanks!

Subject:Some people believe that the best way of learning about life is by listening to the advice of family and friends. Other people believe that the best way of learning about life is through personal experience. Compare the advantages of these two different ways of learning about life. Which do you think is preferable? Use specific examples to support your preference.

Everytime people can learn a new thing about life.While you are talking with one of your old family member,while you are watching your parents or just while you live in life;you can learn a lot of thing. People can listen their family and friends for learn their life experiences.Also personal experiences are very useful for learning about life.In my opinion,personal experiences are more preferable.My arguments for these points are as follows.

Not a bad introduction; you do, however, need to work on the introductory sentence and build on your ideas a little. Maybe, if you connected the ideas in both the first and second sentence, you would be able to make it a tad stronger; something like this " There are many different ways in which people can learn; for example, some prefer to learn about life through the experiences and advice of their parents and family members, while others believe that learning through their own experiences is much better. Personally, if I had to choose between the two approaches, I would probably prefer to learn on my own for a number of reasons"

The first reason as to why I believe personal experiences are more preferable is because if people learn about life with personal experiences,they never forget it.For instance,last year my friend bought a new car.His parents told him to drive safely.However,he didn’t care what they said too much.After two months when he has started driving,he had a car accident.Lucky,he was good.After this accident,he learned why he has to drive safely and he started driving carefully.

Second, you can learn about life with personal experiences exactly.For example,I didn’t know how to use ATM machines when I first took a bank card.I asked to my parents and they explained to me.But I still didn’t know how to use it.I went to a bank and I tried.After two tries,I used to it.Now,I can do whatever I need with that machines.

On the other hand,I think teenagers should ask to their parents about their life experiences.Because their parents are older than them.They know what are the problems in life and they can explain their life skills to their children very easily.Also people should talk with friends.Everyone needs a friend to talk.You may talk with your friends about something that you can not talk with your family like relationships.

Here we have a typical problem that I see in many first time writer's essays. Your supporting paragraphs should all run with the same idea; so if you disagree with the statement then all supporting paragraphs should reflect this. In the same breathe, if you prefer doing one thing over the other, then you supporting paragraphs should reflect this too (in short, go with one idea and don't try to argue from both sides of the fence:)

Finally,people should listen the other people’s life experiences and they should try to learn something about them.However,they can learn life more clearly with personal experiences.

Your use of transitional sentences throughout the essay seem to be inconsistent. It would have been nice to see you use the same transitional as you did in your first supporting paragraph in you second and third supporting paragraph too. so then you would have "The first reason as to why I believe... - The second reason as to why I believe...; and The final reason as to why I believe..." By the way, you should never begin a concluding paragraph with "finally" instead try using "in conclusion"

Overall score: 3 points. Keep up the hard work. In comparison to the first draft that you sent this is much tighter and stronger. Well done