Subject: It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

People learn their personalities and skills when they are child.If people can have good child life,it makes their future life better.Because of that to grow up in a nice place is really important for people’s life. I agree to grow up in the countryside better than grow up in a big city. Children can have healthy and successful life in the countryside.
A nice attempt at an introduction, however, it does fall down in places. For example, I don't think that the first sentence really does your introduction any justice. The question being asked should really be clear from the very first line; for example, "Over the last few years or so, many people have decided to move away from the country side to the city for a number of reasons such as money and work; some have even moved to the city because they believe it will provide their children with better opportunities in the future. However, I disagree with this because I believe the way a child is brought up will directly affect their future and the country side will provide the child with the neccessary up bringing to achieve this"

The first reason as to why I believe that to growgrowing up in the countryside is better is because countrysides have better areas than big cities.Every children likes playing games.They can play games in a nice weather in outside if they live in the countryside.However,big city children who live in the big city have to play games inon the computer or in this kind of electronic devices.Because,big cities usually don’t have game areas.Playing with electronic devices and staying at home all the time are harmful for children’s health.
Don't forget your examples:) I have marked some of the most important mistakes in this paragraph too.


The second reason as to why I believe that to grow up in the countryside is because education in the countryside is better than education in big city.Country schools do not have a lot of children.But city schools have.Teachers can explain a lesson to children more clear and children can learn their lessons from their teachers easily in the country school.For instance,I was living in a big city in my country.When I was in 5th grade,we moved to a small town.In my big city school,I couldn’t always ask something that I can not understand in lessons.But in country school,I asked whatever I want in lessons or after lessons and I learned my lessons very well.That year my grades was better than last years.
A great example:) That is exactly what you need in your 1st supporting paragraph.

From all those reasons above,if children can grow up in a great countryside,it can be better for their future life.

Over all a nice essay! However, because of slight organizational and grammar mistakes, I am unable to give this any more than 3 points. Keep up the hard work. It won't be long before your points start going up:)